Know a good Divorce attorney??

Nothing like the realization that a marriage is finally over. My husband has finally lost it. Mr. high and mighty with his two bastard children who have been nothing but trouble wants to punish me for having a son who made a bad judgement call. In addition because I won't pull my kids out of school to attend the wedding of 2 people I don't know clear across country when I have to leave for Pheonix 2 days later, I am a horrible person. I don't share his dream of retiring in BFE also known as Montana, I don't want to spend a month in the Florida Keys alone with 2 little girls with limited activity.

In our nearly 10 year of marriage I have never been what you call high maintainence as opposed to "The Donald". The one time I take him up on an offer to get something nice, he wants to renig and accuse me of not earning it. I am so appalled. He told me he was not going to live with someone who did not make him happy or share his dreams, and I said "ditto". So, it looks like I will be looking for a good Divorce attorney. I am not going to live a lie any longer either.

So I have to have a goal

I'm taking this online class with the fabulous Heidi Swapp entitled "a year to remember". The big assignment is to find a goal for myself for the year. Here's the problem: I don't know of a goal that I can actually reach without feeling like a total failure. I have already blown the resolutions I listed previously. I don't think I can move forward in this class without it. The class is a calendar and here it is near the end of January, I have to get moving. As Heidi would ask "What am I waiting for?"

Right now I'm feeling very overwhelmed at the amount of crap in my upstairs bedrooms. I have to redecorate the girl's rooms and I'm on a deadline as furniture delivery is impending! I would love to get in my room and scrap but I'd have to crawl over all the junk. I get creative spurts but it goes nowhere.

Maybe the weekend will proove to be more productive.

Speed? Yes sir I'd like some more!

I have forgotten the joy of diet pills. I feel like a bear awoken from a long winter's hibernation. My dear friends I am talking about the joys of Phentermine, a lovely little blue diet pill that has brought me back to life. I have been so down in the dumps about my family situation and sometimes you just have to find a way out, be it physical or chemical. Today its chemical. Sorry to disappoint the conservative lot, lol.

Anywho. I can't control much of what's going on around here but I can control my own creative force. I have a few pages to create for our Columbus Scrappers retreat (which I soooo need). I am actually pumped up about it. It's a project that I am part of but not in charge of for once. Nice to be part of a group effort. So long I feel like I have been solo. That is not always a good thing.

I am actually going to a crop this weekend. Plan to get everything ironed out- been to long treading in the stagnant creative pond.

Bad, bad, blogger!!

Wow, what the hell happened? Didn't I say I was going to be accountable? Boy that so did not happen. To say this has been a bad week would be an understatement. It's like the gods that be read my resolutions and declared "Foolish human, you thought you could control your destiny? We'll show you!!"

After a long road trip with my oldest son, I thought I could talk sense into his head about his future by loosening him up with some alchohol. That was not such a great idea. Lots of tears, yelling and throwing things by both of us, all we accomplished was having killer hangovers the next day. He is an adult and I can't make him do anything..he has made that clear. He is leaving for Texas in 3 days and I have nothing but fear concerning his future.

All this stress has hit me physically too. No, I have not stepped on the treadmill, have not been sober and have slept as much as humanly possible. I have stressed out my gallbladder and pancreas. I just need a break. My father started chemo for stage 4 lung cancer last week. I don't expect him to last very long as he eats very little and is extremely weak and in back pain.

I have been reading all these inspirational blogs by people I admire and wonder why I can't see life the way they do. I see everything through a fog-like I'm not even here in my own life, just a spectator. Time to up my meds I think, lol.

Maybe tomorrow will be better......

Resolutions

Here I am at the age of 38 and I haven't seemed to keep any resolutions. So why make them? All about accountability as I stated before. I believe not enough people take it and own it. This past year I slept and sat away the majority of my time-it was pure laziness and I am disgusted. Hopefully this time will be different. I will try...

1) This weight has to come off-at least 50 lbs of it

2)I will walk 30 min a day on my treadmill

3) I will not drink-complete sobriety for me from here on out

4) Make a real effort at drinking 64oz of water each day

5) I resolve not to let laundry pile up

6) I will stick to a better and simpler skin regimen

7) I will be 100% better about Ryleigh's amblyopia program

8) I will become more dialed into homework issues with both girls

9) I will spend more 1 on 1 time with Don (This is most important!)

10) Lastly I will dedicate more time and effort nuturing my creativity.


I plan to comment at the start of each month on how well I am sticking to these resolutions.

Hope everyone had a safe New Year's Eve!!